Miss Me?

Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. Who’d really miss an inconsistent blogger? My writing isn’t that good!!

These past couple of years were tough — and anybody who says otherwise lives in a special bubble. So no “woe is me,” no excuses as to why I’ve been horrible at updating. I’ve just been… sad? mad? I’ve been glad, too! Not had, though. Maybeeee a little bad.

fall ’20 – summer ’21: got hired and fired from coaching [redacted pilates studio] bc i wanted to ~unionize~

Of course the pandemic was a bit crazy. And I pulled up my last update just to see what y’all last knew about me. And, honestly, I cried a little. But, I also laughed a little. When I really think about it, I didn’t get into writing to necessarily share my story. I got into writing because I love it. I remember day dreaming in middle school, short little plots, and then running home and writing (uncompleted) short stories. Then, I had a whole fan-fic period that started in high-school and continued through college (yeah, no, I will NOT be sharing ANY of those so don’t even think about looking through Quizilla and WattPad!). Next, whilst in college, I started writing (for free, lmfao) for an online magazine. Still wrote (uncompleted) short stories though. After, I graduated college and went to law school. And I got very, very depressed. Suicidal level depressed. It was bad. And I hated the city I was in. During that time, I was not writing. I was not able to pen my thoughts. Sure, a whole lot of things, changes, were happening during that time, too. But I lost my main form of escape; I had stopped writing completely.

And that’s how this blog came to be. Somebody said “How can you hate this city without exploring it?” So, I decided to explore and do them one better: write about it. And as I wrote about the restaurants, I ended up weaving in some of my personal life (and let’s be honest, y’all were reading for the mess and the pics of food, not necessarily the descriptions of it!). I didn’t feel “cured” but I definitely felt “relieved.” Law school came and went. I graduated. And life got hard. I had an unpaid fellowship doing legal-policy work. I then pivoted into environmental law and consulting. THEN THE PANDEMIC!!! Then some in-house pharma work. And that’s where we last left off.

Whew, y’all… Fall 2020, got some bad news about my work position. But also got a new puppy! Friends! Meet Nala :). Anyways, back to work… It was a bit wishy-washy and with the corporate changes and me moving from biologics to consumer health… I wasn’t certain about my future at the company (ended up staying for months after, anyways). I made a huge (and in retrospect, I didn’t realize how huge) leap from huge pharma company (in terms of workforce and personnel) to a healthtech company. I turned down a higher paying pharma job (there were other issues here, like working in person HAH), for this contractor position. I was so excited about this change, y’all. I couldn’t stop GUSHING about the position. I loved it.

summer ’21, aruba!!!

yeah

winter ’22 playing roulette! kidding, just went to MGM for the pics

Not saying I dislike the position, but the novelty wore off, and the stark differences between my old job and my new job were hyper magnified. And… I was so concerned about my future there since I wanted to be a FTE (full-time employee/equivalent/employed, etc) but was still in this contractor position (and, chile… whew, the stress!) And I won’t lie, I had a career breakdown. I cried for days. I called up my old manager and old co-workers. And they’d be glad to bring me back. And I almost took it, I really almost did, but after another breakdown and talking to objective third-party participants, I decided I needed to make (or try to make) the current position work for me. I skipped the quintessential law firm training and went straight in-house into one of the most supportive work places ever. In short, my current position is more like the real world than my last position was. So, I decided I’d be more assertive and proactive in my learning.

Well, that lead to other issues — but we’re working through that! Y’all and this career breakdown wasn’t even related to two dramas had to deal with before EOY21! But that’s enough tea.

nov ’21 — the girls get a lil lift

And through this time… I went and got a boob lift, Nov ’21! MAJOR SURGERY. WOW! Just a lift, so the girls are more or less the same size, just perkier, teehee! Looking back at it… I don’t necessarily regret it (maybe just the provider), but I didn’t realize how badly major surgery would affect my mood. I was irate, sad, upset, tired… It was bad, and I was not expecting it. And it was during winter, so that seasonal depression. They do say misery loves company. But had I known how arduous this would have been… bay-biieeeeeeeeeee, let me tell you I would have just gotten work done head to toe?? I did some lymphatic massages to help with any fluid build up and pain management, and then, I started some body contouring massages. Are they working? I sure do hope so, but body dysmorphia always gets in the way of actually visualizing how my body looks.

feb ’22: gone too soon

Then, Feb ’22, found out my cousin got murdered. What a… There are no words. I sat here for a couple of moments to think about what I would say, and there was nothing.

Stupid shit happened with men, though. A whole lotta stupid shit!!! I was bad, down bad? Down terrible? Not that bad, honestly. We’re just going to skip through the men… Each of them honestly deserve their own mini-series on this blog.

During this time, I had felt something was missing. So I got back into some things I enjoyed: cooking and seeing my friends. That didn’t “plug” the hole. I got back into pilates. Didn’t help. I decided to start yoga. That is helping… but not there. Then one day, I woke up, and I thought about this blog. And I missed it. I missed writing. And more importantly, I missed the cathartic feeling of writing everything down.

jan ’22: HOUSTON!

I don’t have any promises to make — I hate breaking promises, especially when I’m making them to somebody else (y’all). I do have a promise to myself to always better myself.

What that looks like… I’m not sure. We’re going to go through this journey together — and I’ll try to document it every step of the way. Life is about the good, but it’s also about the bad. I’ve been so focused about sharing the good, that when the times got rough, I completely disconnected. I had to tell myself that it’s okay to share the bad: that’s life! It’s all about balance and creating my narrative.

So stay tuned for changes.

A Li’l Update ft Boqueria

Listen, the fact I’m spending lots of money on this blog domain and can’t even be consistent… Sis. I keep saying I will try, but whew is the depressive state real. And right as I thought I was getting my life together, BOOM, the Rona hits and derails my plans. Like truly. Messing up job integration, extremely ill, bedridden for days, and just all the weight gain…

ok so when I uploaded this, I remembered why I like to take horizontal pics so excuse the squareish crop pls & thnx — also we like the rounded? yeah? myb?

At least my skin is clear, right? And not even really. But I am trying a new skincare routine to get rid of the inflammation coloring from ingrown hairs. Hey, I’ll keep y’all updated about that!

All that is playing through my head is “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” by My Chemical Romance, and that should really sum up how I’ve been these past couple of weeks.

I’ve also changed gears from health law to environmental law (oh! Did I tell y’all that I AM A FULLY LICENSED ATTORNEY IN THE STATE OF MARYLAND?!).

face courtesy of mom and forcing me to go to the ceremony lol

Wish me luck. The goal is to get into corporate social responsibility and environmental health equity. Now what does that all mean? Essentially, climate change is a public health crisis and the faster we get people and corporations to understand that a declining environment will lead to more health issues, especially in black and brown, low-income communities, the faster we can try to remedy the situation before it gets too bad.

Now, that also requires corporations caring for said population, and that really might be the challenge :))))).

teaser for the next paragraph but also relevant bc I used this cute lil jaunt as my work profile pic bc radiant smiles and, like, well i look cute

So how have I been spending my free time? A whole lot of DIY, cooking, sleeping, working, eating, and did I mention sleeping? Recently I’ve been reminiscing about a fun adventure I had with the one and only Bryanna Goode, the magic behind a lot of my recent photos. The way I miss adventuring… Lots of good memories, but I’ve been thinking about Boqueria (remember when I went in NY? No? That’s why I hyperlinked it for you! And here it is again!) a lot, mainly because what I wouldn’t give for a bottomless brunch in a chic setting right now. Full disclosure, DC locations > NY.

look at bryanna hard at work :)))

I thought about going back into video editing, but it really was not for me. I enjoyed capturing the footage, did not really enjoy mashing it all up together. So, if you’re reading this and you enjoy making videos, please let me know. I will appreciate you more than I already do.

And another thing I miss? The post-brunch adventures.

Surprisingly, I’m fine staying home, probably because I live with my family. But I hate not having the option to go out and adventure. What I would give to travel safely right now and eat my way through the tropics, lounge on a beach with crystal clear waters, but also drunk shopping, navigating through the metros of DC, and saying “yes” to every adventure that comes my way.

this lowkey looked a lil cuter before i cropped it into a rectangle

But, all I have for now are the memories and these yummy pics of me doing yummy things, so let’s all just close our eyes and take a second to imagine what life was like before this. Ready? Go!

Yeah, what a time. Let’s see… The food was good. I obviously went back and I want to go again! Unfortunately I took these pics in October, so my memory of the food isn’t perfect. Shout out to mega delayed posts, huh. What I do remember: the chicken tenders were delicious because they were coated in crumbled chips, but I did cut my mouth on them. The fresh toast was yummy but I enjoyed the apples more because I’m a sucker for cinnamon backed apples. The lil pineapples were GREAT, I had like 10, a lil smokey and a lil sweet. Steak and eggs were great, except I am very very weird about egg yolk, and I didn’t care for these because they were a littleeee too runny, but I ordered steak on the side just to eat more. The Bloody Mary shots were good too. They were more shot than cocktails and the spiced salt rim really sealed the deal. Take back too many and you’ll be wobbling your way down DuPont. 10/10 would go again, so hit me up if you wanna go.

Anyways. Let’s see what else I’ve been up to…

My friends and I all created a playlist of 25 songs we love so much, we wish we produced them. You can check out mine right here. I am no DJ, but I think I make pretty good playlists. Want a fun challenge? Make your own and send me the link so I can share!

And oh, look, another picture of me. Sometimes candids really DO turn out well. This was still part of the Boqueria brunch adventure, so no judging me on the same exact outfit, thank you very much. The only thing worse than an outfit repeater is an outfit rememberer! [Insert Lizzie McGuire gif here]. Duh.

And as much as this natural hair was cute as SHIT!!! I miss stunting in a wig. And makeup. I did my eyebrows the other day? And I forgot how to do them?? But then when I did perfect it??? It looked so foreign???? On my face????? 

tbh surprised makeup still looking good at like 1am after drinking #champ also shoutout to dupont krispy kreme bc #lifesaver

Like

not a wig but i do miss the high pony bc yes.

I can’t even recognize myself in makeup anymore?

hey siri, set a reminder to take pics vertically and horizontally

Honestly, I don’t even recognize myself, period! In all fairness, the picture was when I was extremely done up for a formal event, but I just wanted to be dramatic…

My plans for after this end? There’s so much I want to do! I cannot wait to leave, head to a MedSpa and get a Fraxel facial because—I deserve, and my face deserves even more. That’s it. And a new hairstyle. Either wig or silk press. I recently cut all my nails off because I’ve been doing them myself, but it’s been such a hassle. I bought a new manicure set anyways, so I will be entertaining the hassle once more. I bought a poly gel kit, so wish me luck.

And speaking of hassles… Men. Listen, it’s quarantine, sir. Leave me alone. It’s a pandemic! If I’m getting sick and infecting others, it’s because I’m hanging with my friends, not because I’m meeting new guys and fooling around with guys from the past. Yikes.

Please. Pls. 

But all in all, life has been ~good.~ I even did some passion twists. They did not last long. But I tried.

i’d like to personally thank celena for letting me have/borrow/whatever her sweatshirt

No complaints really. I’m alive, and there really was a time where I thought I wouldn’t make it because I was THAT sick. I’m gainfully employed, and was worried because last to hire, first to fire. Luckily, the company I’m working for has gotten busiER during this time. Yay, work?

Started working out again to try to get a little bit of definition, but the way my sickness ruined my lungs… Trained 2 years to get to this level of fitness (not super fit lol but I can run, read jog, a couple miles without dying) just for it to be ruined from being sick for 4 months, lol. BUT! I’m determined to get back to where I was before 2020 ends :). We got this, right? Please, wish me luck.

So as per usual, I won’t make promises about this blog. But I hope I find the time and enegy to update you more. Thank you so much for checking in on me. Y’all are the reason I want to write these posts.

Until next time!

P.S. I like these updates, so maybe I’ll focus less on food and travel (funny, I know, because would need to focus on those things to begin with) and incorporate more about general life, because you’re here to get “elod” of my life, right?

P.P.S. You get brownie points for laughing at my pun. They’re worth nothing, yet.